


jesus christ

by 1ho



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, M/M, i also have no idea how offices work, i just say jesus christ a lot and thus this fic was born, i mean i interned at one but all i did was make coffee and shred paper so... idk, i'm not even religious tbh, idk if it counts as fluff tbh, idk what i'm even doing, kinda???, someone pls stop me, this came right after the angst fic lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 03:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6313579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1ho/pseuds/1ho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hi, I'm - "</p>
<p>"Jesus Christ." Kihyun doesn't realize he's said this out loud until the man's grin transforms into a shit-eating smirk.</p>
<p>"How'd you know?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	jesus christ

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea what propelled me to write this tbh
> 
> this is unedited af, i just kinda put random ideas down and strung them together
> 
> this is probably highly unrealistic and the basic gist is they're all idiots

Kihyun swears he's the only person in the entire company who takes his job seriously. In about a week's time, they'll be signing contracts to seal the partnership they've been discussing for the past year with another company, yet Changkyun, who's supposed to be _running the damn company_ , is proposing they go bowling for some "quality bonding time". Of course, Kihyun's assistant, Minhyuk, and the receptionist, Jooheon, were quick to agree, launching into a chorus of cheers and chattering about the event.

Bowling ends up going horribly. The kids in the next lane celebrating their friend's ninth birthday party manage to get more pins than Changkyun and co., and Minhyuk somehow managed to break the table they sat at. Kihyun had to pay for the damage because, according to Changkyun, he didn't partake in the bowling and was "no fun" so he had to make up for it. Kihyun pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering what horrendous deed he must've done in a past life to deserve this bullshit.

—

A few days later, Kihyun stands at the door of Changkyun's office, clutching the last of the paperwork he'd been asked to do to seal the partnership. He clears his throat, trying to attract his boss' attention.

"Not now, I'm busy." Changkyun's eyes are glued to the screen of his desktop computer, his brows furrowed in concentration. Kihyun sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Boss, I hate to break it to you, but the glass display case behind you reflects your computer screen. I can see you playing Sims 3."

"Exactly. I'm busy."

Kihyun huffs and begins to walk away, muttering angrily under his breath, "I swear I'm the only one in this entire god damn company who does _any_ work."

—

Meanwhile, in the soon-to-be-parter-company run by Hyunwoo, the employees were constantly and consistently embarrassed by the strange speeches their boss gave.

"In light of the environmental issues ravaging the world, I have decided that our company should contribute in our own way." Hyunwoo pauses, realizing what he said. "To a greener world, I mean, not to further damage. Anyway. A part of these changes are the flushing systems in the company toilets. Remember, everyone: If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down."

Hyungwon turns to Hoseok and mutters, "What the fuck. Can't a man piss and shit in peace?"

Hoseok shrugs. "Just ignore him. I mean, I don't care what he says, I'm still gonna flush the toilet."

If Hyunwoo heard or saw them whispering, he shows no indication of having done so.

—

Kihyun can't believe how god damn _hot_ the man who stands in front of him is. He has an immense urge to reach up and stroke the man's face, or perhaps squeeze those nice looking biceps of his, but he's here on business and has to act professional. Even if the rest of his company are idiots, Kihyun's going to have to work with these people in the future, so he had to make a good impression. The man's face breaks into a grin as he reaches out a hand for Kihyun to shake.

"Hi, I'm - "

"Jesus Christ." Kihyun doesn't realize he's said this out loud until the man's grin transforms into a shit-eating smirk.

"How'd you know?"

So much for professionalism.

—

After the partnership is sealed, Hyunwoo constantly passive-aggressively tries to get Changkyun to do work while Changkyun glares back, though they appear to be on fairly good terms. On the other hand, Hyungwon looks like he wants to commit murder whenever he's in the vicinity of either Jooheon or Minhyuk.

Kihyun finds out that the man he embarrassed himself around's name is Hoseok, and that he holds the same position as Kihyun, so they'll likely be seeing a lot of each other. He groans, wondering why bad things had to happen to good people.

—

Minhyuk sits at his desk, binge watching reruns of _F.R.I.E.N.D.S._ to pass the time. The phone rings, so he pauses the episode and picks it up enthusiastically.

"Hello, how may I help you?"

"Is Kihyun there?"

Of course it's for Kihyun, Minhyuk thinks. No one ever calls him through the company phone, they reach him through his cell instead. He can't help but feel a little disappointed and sighs.

"He's currently in the middle of a meeting. Do you have anything of importance you'd like me to relay to him?"

"Just tell him Jesus called."

—

After hearing that Hoseok called and jokingly referred to himself as "Jesus" over the phone, Kihyun feels embarrassed beyond belief. He doesn't want to talk to or face Hoseok any time in the near future unless there's business to be dealt with, in which case he'd call Hoseok himself rather than wait for the man to call him.

"Hey Minhyuk, can you do me a favor?" Kihyun asks his assistant.

"Yeah, of course." Minhyuk replies.

"If someone by the name of Jesus - I mean, Hoseok - calls, tell him I'm not here or I'm busy."

—

A few days later, another call comes.

"Hello, how may I help you?" Minhyuk says pleasantly into the phone.

"Is Kihyun available?"

"He is, hang on one sec. May I have your name?"

"Hoseok, but he may know me as Jesus." Minhyuk remembers that Kihyun doesn't want to speak to anyone called Hoseok or Jesus.

"Oh wait, sorry. Mr. Yoo is busy."

"You just said he was free."

"Yeah, he told me to say he wasn't here if someone named Hoseok or Jesus was on the other end of the line. Sorry! Bye!"

"Wai - "

Minhyuk hangs up before Hoseok can finish. Kihyun glances at Minhyuk curiously. He hadn't been paying much attention to the call until Minhyuk abruptly hung up.

"Who was that?" He asks.

"Jesus. Hoseok. Whatever his name is."

"What did you say?"

"I told him you weren't here."

Kihyun sighs in relief. For once, something went right in this godforsaken office.

"Oh, good. Thanks, Minhyuk."

"I think he knew I was lying though."

Kihyun's face pales, but he still manages to shoot an accusatory glare at Minhyuk.

"Why?"

"Well, I told him you were here, then I asked for his name, and when he told me I said you weren't here."

Of course. Nothing in this stupid company could go his way.

"God damn it, Minhyuk."

"Then when I figured he knew something was up, I told him you told me to say you weren't there if someone named Jesus or Hoseok was on the other end of the line. I figured it was some sort of secret code or whatever."

Kihyun wondered what he ever did to deserve this.

"What the fuck, Minhyuk. You fuckin' idiot."

"Hey, that's not nice."

"You should stop dying your hair blonde, it's getting to your brain."

—

After about a week of not being able to reach Kihyun through the phone, Hoseok decides to go physically speak to him in person. They do have work to do, after all. Hoseok's greeted at the front desk by Jooheon, the receptionist.

"Hello, sir. How may I help you?"

"I'm looking for Kihyun."

"I'll let him know right away. May I have your name?"

"Jesu - I mean, Hoseok."

"Oh! You're the one Kihyun keeps telling Minhyuk to ignore! Minhyuk told me you must be really awful or something because Kihyun never wants to speak to you and he turns an alarming shade of red whenever you call, but you seem alright to me. Maybe he - "

Kihyun hears Jooheon babbling and catches sight of Hoseok.

"Jooheon! Shut the fuck up!" Kihyun screeches at the top of his lungs.

Another shit-eating smirk spreads across Hoseok's face.

—

Hyungwon is not a morning person. Every morning he's half-asleep, essentially a zombie, inching his way to the coffee machine to get some much needed caffeine flowing through his veins. The first time Kihyun meets Hyungwon, he nearly knocks over the his coffee and gets a bit of it spilt over Hyungwon's shirt. Without his morning coffee, Hyungwon's too tired to be mad. Instead, he simply sighs as a very flustered Kihyun runs to go get tissues.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that!"

"It's fine." Hyungwon says in a monotone voice.

"I'm Kihyun, by the way." Kihyun tries to amend the situation by introducing himself and perhaps initiating conversation. It appears to work, as a once exhausted Hyungwon somewhat perks up at the name "Kihyun".

"Oh! You're the one Hoseok says looks like a baby angel!" Hyungwon exclaims.

"Um, thanks?" Kihyun isn't sure what to say. He's not sure if looking like a baby angel is a compliment or not.

"You're not chubby and naked though," Hyungwon continues, "unless Hoseok knows something I don't." Hyungwon winks, making Kihyun turn beet red.

"What?! No! What're you implying?!" Hyungwon laughs at Kihyun's outburst. Kihyun shifts uncomfortably. "Well I, uh - " Kihyun laughs nervously, " - I gotta get back to work now. Bye!"

Never in his life had Kihyun run so quickly back to his desk.

—

With a bit of convincing, and a _lot_ of requests to keep his voice down, Hoseok manages to get past Jooheon at the front desk without Kihyun noticing. The last few times he tried to talk to Kihyun in the office, Kihyun had miraculously disappeared when he was alerted of Hoseok's arrival. This time, it just so happened to be Kihyun's lunch break, and Hoseok caught him scarfing down a hastily made meal and some water in order to quickly get back to work.

"You know," Hoseok starts, "they say Jesus could turn water into wine."

Kihyun hadn't noticed Hoseok walk in. He looks like a deer in the headlights, cheeks full of rice and eyes wide with shock. He swallows his food, then tries to play it cool.

"And?"

Hoseok sighs. "Let me buy you a nice meal, wine and all." He elaborates. "You free for dinner?"

Kihyun nearly spat out his food. Was Hoseok asking him out? Without hesitation, Kihyun says, " _Yes._ " He then realizes that he may have sounded overeager, and amends, "I mean, yeah, I think so."

A shit-eating smirk spread back across Hoseok's face.

"Cool. Give me your address, I'll pick you up at seven."

—

Dinner was everything Kihyun wanted it to be and more. Although he was nervous at first, Hoseok's natural humor quickly made him feel at ease. By the end of the night, he was thoroughly charmed by Hoseok's charisma. It was like he was blind, but Hoseok healed him and his world became more vivid.

Hoseok walked Kihyun home, like a perfect gentleman. They parted with a soft kiss, and it felt as if the storm of anxiety building within Kihyun had suddenly calmed. Everything felt right.

Perhaps Hoseok really was Jesus, miracles and all.

**Author's Note:**

> kihyun loves the idiots he works with even if they bring him pain tbh
> 
> anyway
> 
> i'm so sry for the disappointment this must've caused
> 
> i got bored and wrote out the whole thing in like, an hour, so i'll be honest it's p shit
> 
> i have no idea what i'm doing with my life


End file.
